So, after you’ve tidied up and thrown away stuff that didn’t make you happy and answered those 10 hard questions about yourself, it is now time to sit in your tidy environment and reflect. Just sit.
Come as You Are
Choose a great spot in your place, prepare yourself a nice cup of hot beverage and take an hour to yourself. No screens needed, nor book.
This is you in raw mode.
I honestly recommend doing this naked, because that frees you of all and every prejudice or outside interference. This is an hour of free thinking, released of any unwanted chains or responsibilities. The only one that matters right now is you.
If you have honestly answered those hard questions at the end of step 2, you will now have a crisp understanding of your thought and decision-making processes. Through the discarding process in Step 1, you would have reflected on the majority of your adult life and have faced your masks. Doing this right means you will now put those masks to rest.
For me, it was hanging up my high heels, throwing away office attire and leaving a job I hated, but stayed in for the amazing benefits and money.
For another person I know it was a similar case of leaving a well-earning and prestigious workplace for a fulfilling, but less paying job he had been dreaming of for years; another friend got rid of her ‘good circle of friends’ after realising she was the one who put herself right in the centre of it. She had hated it for years and it sucked her time taking her away from her family and doing the things she wanted to. After going through the cleanse, she, along with her husband and three kids ended up moving to another city. She is now a self-proclaimed happy poppy’ and a better person, wife and mum for it.
I Would Rather Have Honest Ugly than Fake Pretty
So you’re sitting there in that nice spot buck-naked, freezing your caboose off wondering how you got here and what you’re supposed to be doing now.
I think I owe you an explanation:
I was once not sexy.
I was a waif of a person, hanging on to shit and poisonous people because I thought those were what defined me. I was in a miserable and bleak place, longing for something to hold on to.
Everyday looked just like the previous one: I got up, went to a workplace that I didn’t really like (although I was the subject of envy by my friends), hated every minute of it, dropped my pen at four and commuted home during rush-hour. That was it. I was also a mother and a wife and I was hell to be around.
I had no joy at all. And I snapped at everybody and anything. I put on pounds of weight and set a crappy example to my kids.
I was working for some cause, but I didn’t understand what that cause was. I went to work because that’s what everybody did. I had no goals at all. I was sad.
As I said, not sexy.
The Big Scheme of Things
But then something happened.
I hit rock bottom.
And that was the best thing that could ever happen. After all the sobbing and feeling sorry for my ass was over, I slowly came to realise that I was the one in charge of my life. Nobody else. If I felt bad, then I was the one who had made myself feel bad through my crappy decision-making process. Logic told me that I was the one who could make myself feel better. It was me, and me alone, that could make my life better. Not my clothes, or my job, or my house, or my friends, or even my kids or significant other. Only me.
I was the sole bearer and driver of my destiny.
Sounds big-huh? It was and still is.
But if I were the sole bearer of my destiny, how was I going to change the course of my life? If I were the sole bearer, I had driven my life into this huge pothole and seemed to not be able to get out of it.
And so, after many months of going through hell asking myself how to get out of this depressing predicament, I happened to stumble upon The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Initially I started off reading the book in an attempt to organize my living surroundings, but then I morphed it into something a lot bigger. It was not my surroundings that I was organizing – it was me.
And so, I mustered up enough energy to go through step 1 and 2 of the Sexy Back process (it took me nearly two months) and there I am, in step 3, sitting on my green chair in the living room drinking Earl Grey. As I had thrown away nearly all of my clothes, and I had just put on the washing machine, I was buck naked, bare ass and all.
And it was just then that it dawned on me – this is what it feels like to be real, to be true, to be completely raw. This was the first time I had taken control.
I loved the feeling of finally getting a grip on my life, steering it in a direction that felt right for once. I was truly happy.
Unbeknownst to me, I was taking my first steps to getting Sexy Back.
Are you sitting bare assed somewhere trying to better your life?
Share with me.