If you have been following my posts about what sexy back is and what traits you need in order to get it, I know you’re just itching to find out how to go about getting that sexy back.
Sexy Back in a Nutshell
So, as I wrote in my previous posts, Sexy Back is what you have when you truly have enough money to not worry about, well, almost anything financial really. A person who has Sexy Back, has the personal and hence, financial stamina to withstand anything that comes their way – be it a crash in the likes of 2008 or whatever. You can tell when a person has Sexy Back – they’re usually cool, calm and collected and in control of their life. They have clear goals and a distinct vision of how to reach their goals. They have confidence to know they can withstand the consequences of their mistakes and own up to them because they understand these mistakes are, in fact, learning curves to be embraced.
In other words, Sexy Back is, in fact, having confidence and control.
You Gotta Sweat
But what do you do if you have not been born with, let’s say, financial stamina? You could argue that people born with financial stamina have Sexy Back. But, no, if a person is lucky enough to have been born to wealthy parents, that person still has no Sexy Back, their parents do. Sexy Back is the ability to stand strong on your own; to be a solid rock in uncertain circumstances. This takes hard work and perseverance, something a person that inherits large sums doesn’t always have, unless they have learned the ropes from an early age (that’s why you sometimes see wealthy heirs blow their parents’ hard earned cash and why they often end up broke).
No matter your situation – whether you’re a young family trying to make ends meet; a single parent working three jobs to provide your kids with a decent education; a student working off their student loan; or a middle-aged family who has endured a financial crisis (does 2008 ring any bells?), you too can build Sexy Back.
Ok, enough already with the theory, this is how you go about getting Sexy Back:
Your basic plan to getting your Sexy Back
- Tidy up and Organize: As I wrote in my previous post, the first thing to do in order to get your Sexy Back is to tidy up and organize. Shocker? Let me explain: Before you can start to set your short-term and long-term financial goals (or any goal for that matter), you have to have a clear understanding of what you have versus what you need. These are two very distinct things that are imperative to understand. Tidying up, keeping the things that make you truly happy and discarding the things you don’t, will make you come face to face with the real you. This is not something to do in tandem, rather a road you must ride on all by yourself. This is actually a path leading to the real you, and although it is a difficult and challenging one, you will be a better and more authentic person because of it. Do yourself a favor and set time aside for tidying up, throwing away, or giving away things you do not honestly love (because they eventually weigh you down and stuff the air around you).
I underwent this process after reading The Art of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, the inventor of the KonMarie method – a method of tidying up and organizing your stuff and life. But I soon came to realize that tidying up had far more benefits than just ending up with a tidy environment. Although, initially, not intended for more than a method of tidying up, I found it possessed a therapeutical value in that it faced me to look at my things, and through them, at my life. Question arose such as ‘why was I holding on to that shirt’ or ‘what possessed me to buy that dress’? Questions to these and other questions along the way posed a unique mirror reflecting me and my life – the choices I made and my decision-making process – by forcing me to answer candidly all of these questions. Turned out, most of the answers I provided were not even related to my stuff.
After finishing this process of going through every room in my house (I also extended it to my car and work environment) – I had a real understanding of me and I could categorize my needs and distinguish them from my wants. I realized my needs were actually my short-term goals and my wants, my long-term goals.
This step is crucial in getting a clear view of who you really are. It will save you loads of time in the future and buckets of money (and millions upon millions in therapy).
- Answering those Hard Questions: After going through your environmental and mental cleanse in step 1, now it’s time to honestly answer the questions that arose during the process. If you honestly discarded stuff you did not love (that extends also to people, jobs and whatever you settled on in the past) you should have a clear understanding of how and why you spend your hard-earned money.
Now, honestly answer these questions:
- Are you an emotional spender?
- Do you focus more on what you want instead of what you need?
- Can you make a clear distinction between wants and needs?
- Do you usually buy for others and put yourself last?
- Did you buy stuff to make you happy (retail therapy)? (If so, do you remember how long that happiness lasted? Was it real happiness?)
- Did you value your life before tidying up and organizing? How about after going through the process?
- Did you spend on stuff you didn’t really need in order to keep up appearances?
- Do you care what other people think of you?
- Do you envy other ‘successful’ people and try to imitate them?
- Did you feel in control before going through the cleansing process? How about now?
If you answered yes to questions….. I can assure you you did not have the feeling of control of your life, rather life circumstances were controlling you. You did not possess Sexy Back.
However, just by honestly going through Stage 1 of the process, you have taken a giant leap towards taking control over your life. It is now your responsibility to look after you first and your surroundings. As you will see, maintaining that control is a lot easier than taking it. Over time, just by completing Step 1, you will feel a sense of control, you haven’t felt in a long time. People will start to ask questions and perhaps resent the change in you, but don’t be disheartened – some people don’t like change. After time, they will come to respect the change you have gone through. With it, will come that air of self-esteem. Just wait for it, it’s a wonderful feeling.
How’s it going for you?
Share with me.